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Video games and love.

I'm Chloé, 19.
I'm a french Canadian.(From Québec)
I run a hedgehog appreciation blog. (Click the Hedgehogs! tab on the side!)

I probably won't follow you back.

Isn't my hamster adorable? Click it to feed it!

Feel free to tell me anything. I'll always be there for anyone who needs to talk.

My biography

Uhm hi, I am Chloé, I was born on January 11, in 1994. That means I am currently 17 years old as I am writting this post.
I live in Mascouche, Québec, Canada. Québec is a french province. It might seem dumb to specify, but most people do not know there is a WHOLE PROVINCE where we speak french in Canada. Not everyone can speak english properly here, I had to learn english. Mostly by myself since the english classes we’ve had since grade 3 were pretty much useless.
But it’s alright, I’ve always loved learning new languages. This is why I am going to cégep in the language program next year. (Cégep is a kind of college.. it’s a pre-university.)
I love video games. I have grown with them. Not that I played much when I was young, my brother didnt really let me. I was just watching them and waiting for them to be bored enough to let me play with them. Most of the time they let me play alone but I was always scared to play alone. I would get to a boss and call them so they beat them. It annoyed them :P So I didnt really get far in any games.
It doesnt really matter because I didnt fall in love with playing the game, I fell in love with the game itself : the music, graphic, storyline (that sometime I made in my head because I either couldnt read yet or it was in english so i didnt understand, That is why I thought the evil ganondorf was going to ask Zelda’s father to marry her when you first meet Zelda in ocarina of time). 
So I grew with the nintendo at my grandma’s (I pretty much lived there every school day until grade 1), and the snes and n64 at home. Until my brother traded the snes for a sega. Dummy. 
I had a lot of games consoles that were mine too, they worked a bit like gameboys but the games were IN it. It was just lots of mini games. Never knew what the name of those were, though.
Then the gameboy color and the pc. My mother was a big fan of warcraft 2 and I’ve been initiated when I was no older than 6, I swear.
Now that I’m old enough to kill boss without any fears (or almost.. -roll eyes-) I can enjoy nintendo even more :)
You probably guessed the love of my life is (are?) video games.
I also love reading. I seriously dont know what to do with my life when I do not have a book. If I ever become super rich, I will buy a whole lot of books.
I also like animes. I havent watched a lot of those so far because I wasnt allowed to download things (and yes anything that goes to your temps counts). But now that we changed our forfeit, I can and I will :)

I listen to a lot of music, not a certain type, I listen to pretty much everything, even though I dont really like rap…
Some of my favourite bands are System of a down, Avenged sevenfold, Owl city, A day to remember, Koji Kondo(zelda and mario soundtrack *-*), The sweeney todd soundtrack, anything zelda reorchestred, the coverer Sam Koster and also his band The Blaqk year. Yeah I dont know, I love so many things. Anything Piano is pretty much eargarm too. Anything melodic unf.
 
Other than that, who am I?

I don’t really know who I am. Am I introvert? I  d o n t  k n o w.
Since I was young I’ve always only been shy with adults or older people I wouldnt spend a lot of time with. Then in about grade 9, I became shy with pretty much everyone I admired a tiny bit. I started to care about what people would think about me. Except on the internet. But seriously, who is shy on the internet?
I kind of thought it was because of the people I started hanging out with at that time, who were shy and wouldnt be crazy around people with me. But I dont know. I only know when I’m excited about an event I become the crazy person I used to be.

Okay, now I get a lot of ‘are you straight?’.
I don’t know. I am going to quote one of my lovely follower (but change genders since he’s a guy and I’m a girl) 
i couldn’t really say if i could only love one gender
to be honest i’m pretty confused
i mean I’m pretty sure I’m attracted to men
but i also find women attractive to a degree?
I guess I’d love anyone willing to devote their heart to me
i mean if they love you and you love them
does it really matter what their gender is?
love is love
but what the hell is love, exactly?
I don’t know yet
maybe I’ll never know” 

I mean, yes I’ve had a boyfriend before. But I was like 13, could I really say I was in love? I don’t know, I don’t remember the feeling, it was too many years ago.

It may not seem like it, but I have had a life. Yes I had two best friends back then. Pot smokers. They smoked all day everyday. I hung out with them all day everyday. People were surprised to learn I wasnt a pot head. To be honest, after about a year of hanging out with them, I decided to try it, to see why they were like that. This was probably one of the worse experience in my life. Then I’ve had a reaLLY close friend. I talked about her in a past post. She’s had problems. She had a boyfriend, an asshole who kept cheating on her. But she stayed with him and she wanted to have a baby. Not later. Now. She was 15. She got pregnant, too. But she’s had a misscariage. This girl also refused to eat most of the time, she never had lunchs so I spend money almost daily to buy her something to eat. Either that or I would share my lunch with her or forced her to eat something. One day she came to me and told me she had a mononucléosis and started having panic attacks. I tried to be there for her as much as I could. But yeah, we’re getting somewhere else now.

So most of my personal posts are about me raging about my mother. Really now, I don’t understand what is wrong with her. She can be ubber nice and the second after she becomes a true bitch. She is a lazy ass, she controls everything, get mad when you dont act like she wants you to act or think like she wants you to think, she exagerate everything and when you try to correct her because she’s saying something that’s not completly true, she gets mad. She gets mad a lot. It pisses me off a lot. She is unemployed she drinks and smoke and she thinks the house cleaning shouldnt be done by her. She sits in front of the computer or the tv all day. She is greedy and selfish. yep. idk. I don’t hate her all the time, I mean yes she can be nice, but when I think about how she is and how she’s breaking our family apart, I do hate her.

Smoking. I. Hate. Everything. About. That.
This is one of the main reasons my family is breaking apart. The money my father spends on my mom’s cigarettes could be taken for much usefull things in the house. Plus, it stinks so badly, I can’t breath when I’m beside someone who smokes. I have probably wasted 4 birthday cake wish on my mother so she could stop smoking. It was for other reasons back then, I didnt want my mother to have bad health or something.
Why would you start smoking in the first place URG, This is beyond me. Huge turn off. 

I love my father. The most generous man <3

My brothers often get on my nerves but I love them. Especially the one in Europe ( he cant get on my nerves anymore), but also because he made my music education. :)
We were in better terms when I was young, though. My two brothers would fight over who of them I loved more. Hahaha. We would also play games together. Fight trees with branches or fight with pillows or play catch on our parents’ bed. Good times.

I miss my childhood.

One of the greatest thing in life is succesfully making someone feel better about themselves.
I don’t understand hate. What is fun about making some cry, making someone feel terrible, filling people with anger? I don’t get it. Maybe my brother could explain, he loved to do that in high school. He thought it was funny.

He doesnt do that anymore, now. He thinks about his future ‘This person could be useful to me in the future, I wont make them an enemy.’

These things are not really about me, but these are all the things that made me who I am today.

Let’s see. I feel lonely most of the time. I am not someone people in real life want to hang out with. I am pretty boring to be honest. I don’t have much to say in conversations, I don’t really stand out anymore.
I would want a real best friend. Someone I could hang out with all the time, tell all my secrets to, hug.
How I am craving hugs. Real comforting hugs.
I would never get enough hugs.

A best friend or a lover, that would do all of the above, plus being cute and plus kissing.

I guess I will stop there, this is all I had to say, I think. Not like anyone would ever read this anyway.